i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i permit you to call me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize