I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I did not marry a roomba.
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