yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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