There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Someone came in the potted fern
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize