just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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