my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
