you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
