I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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