I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We left an ass print on the piano.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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