He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Your penis caused this!
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