Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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