I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
