Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
