They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
