It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
