dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize