I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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