I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
