the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
