Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
