Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
OPIZZABONMYDICK
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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