TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize