Say something about gay babies.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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