just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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