pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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