There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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