What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
