Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your cock deserves a montage
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
