Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
