C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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