Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
