I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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