I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my mouth tastes like poor choices
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
tell me about the eggs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
