I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i drank out of a bidet.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
