OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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