where am i from again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
