We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize