i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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