She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
