Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
