i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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