Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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