I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize