what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
