just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dick very happy bro
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
