they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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