She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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