It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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