so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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