it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
