he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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