Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
