The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
