Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You made out with two different species that night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
