did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
