Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
