Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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