great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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