Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
