idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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