grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your cock deserves a montage
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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