Someone shit on the floor
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am one with the molecules
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
