operation have a gay friend backfired
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize