I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
