Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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