who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is Oprah even human
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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